I am desperately in need of prayers. Within the past couple years I have experienced sever skin problem with my face. Enlarged pores and damaged skin (mostly my nose and surrounding area). The pores are so enlarged that you can actually clearly see the sebum which looks like disgusting puss coming out of my face. These has caused me to go into great depression and mental anguish as I constantly avoid a mirror at all costs. Brushing my teeth, combing my hair and shaving in the dark. I have become secluded, angry, bitter and extremely self-conscious. To the point that I refuse to even go into a gas station due to embarrassment. Worse yet I can constantly feel my skin breaking apart if you will. Which is to say I can feel when the pores / skin break apart. I constantly have a tingling almost itchy feeling on my cheeks and nose, as well as a heat / sun-burn sensation. It almost feels as though tiny bugs are crawling under my skin. Lastly, whatever the issue is it also affects my eyes. After only a few hours of being awake my eyes get red, slightly itchy and very heavy, as if I've been awake for 18 straight hours. This has been going on for almost two years.
I became a SDA when I was 26. I am now 40. I don't know exactly what I've done to deserve this but honestly after 2 years I'm done trying to figure it out. I've prayed and prayed and 90% of my day is thinking about this issue to some degree. Whether it be why? how? being angry about it, sad about it, depressed about it, trying to figure out how to overcome it. I don't know how much more of this I can take and have thought about taking my own life over a dozen times in just the past 6 months, even though as a Bible Christian I know better. Why? Because the pain, discomfort, embarrassment and overall lack of quality of life has become so great I can no longer withstand it. It has effected my life so negatively that I am at a loss (Career, Personal Relationships, Overall Health, Faith. Dermatologist are unable to help and aren't even sure what causes the issue. All they can recommend is laser treatments. I have undergone about 6 of them totaling approximately $3,000 and the issue has only gotten worse. When I say worse I mean since I began treatment it's gotten an estimated 60% worse.
I understand the Lord's coming is soon but I just don't know if I'll make it. This of course makes me incredibly sad and even more depressed. I understand that we are to be tested and tried but this has become more than I can withstand. Most of the time it just feels flat out cruel. I am sending this to as many SDA Churches as I can and ask that you forward this to as many Brothers and Sisters as possible. At this point I am convinced that only God can heal me through his faithful / the Church. I beg for your help and prayers! Every second of every day is a painful struggle both physically and mentally and I'm out of resolve. Please help!!!!!!!!